THE TEA CUP

   In the beginning I was given a tea cup.
Perfect and porcelain.
I clung to it in awe and amazement.
As I grew I treated it with tenderness and great care.
Using my cup in every exploration of my imagination.
I would fill the cup and in turn it would fill me.
Some I let into my space would marvel at the beauty of my cup.
Some that came treated it with disregard and malice.
Placed on the shelf for safe keeping the chalice of my life was soon forgotten.
Not all together forgotten, mind you. I dragged it everywhere I traveled, not as a treasure, more as an after thought.
The piece of fine China that accompanied me through my journey was always being filled.
First it was milk and honey, then whiskey and wine. I would fill it and it would fill me right back.
Some where along the way I lost her and she soon became a distant memory.
In the winter of my life the cup is found. To my surprise I  found that even in the absence of my company and care, my cup has been filled all along.
Not with nourishment or substance, but with chips and cracks.
Still beautiful and porcelain, the cracks and chips are being mended. The dust has been wiped away to reveal the original brilliance of color.
The decision has been made.
Only those who revel and marvel at the cup will be allowed to hold her, touch her, love her.
Only those who see the cup and not the cracks will be worthy of her presence....... lesson learned.
                   

IF YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE…..YOU’VE GOTTA CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOR REAL

Blooming Cactus in the middle of nothingness.

Reinventing myself seems to be the one consistent thing I have done throughout my life. I guess if there are any experts out there, it would be the people that have gone before us and actually done the work, learned the lessons, and learned to identify the pitfalls. Being tribal creatures, humans were designed to learn from one another. In the past we lived in extended groups such as tribes and large family groups. Daughters learned from mothers who learned from grandmothers who learned from great grandmothers. We learned from stories and shared experience and time spent together.

For those of us on the planet together at this time, we are somewhat fractured as a group in the digital age. This leaves us to our own devices, trying to decipher the truth from the internet and social media…..no wisdom to draw from ….no nuggets of truth…no direction. This blog is intended to be a platform where the truth and wisdom of the grandmothers is shared with absolute conviction. With the understanding that truth is often subjective: I have invited others who have accomplished thriving in these areas to give a wide range of possibilities and perspectives. Please enjoy!

KIM’S PERSPECTIVE:

So I understand that most of you cringe at the thought of change….well NOT ME! Im one of the fortunate ones that embraces it, invites it, even celebrates it. I am best when I am in the flow of life, ever changing, moving and advancing. Sometimes I jokingly refer to myself as having been a river in a past life. Having the ability to pivot in this life is not lost on me, I am grateful for it and it has been my handiest coping skill to date.

More to come…….

So, I can only write about my own process. Hopefully you can take some (or all) of these nuggets and adopt them for your own journey in this life. What works for me may not work for you and visa versa. Although we all share 99.9% of our DNA as a species, Its the remaining fracture of a percentage that makes us unique. Its what we spend our whole lives trying to identify and manage. Add on to this perception the memories we have, the experiences we share (and don’t share), the cultures we are raised in, our state of physical wellbeing, and our ability to learn and understand, and the task seems suddenly monumental…………DONT PANIC!! Stay with me.

Its going to take some honest looking in the mirror on your part, but I promise it will be worth it in the end. Keep your eye on the prize…the ability to change your life into what makes you truly happy and authentic. Its not actually a destination is your first lesson. ITS A WILD RIDE!!!!! Buckle up buttercup.

More to come…….

OUR 7 FAVORITE PLACES IN NORTH GEORGIA TO GET GROUNDED

THE HEAD OF THE RIVER is my ALL TIME FAVORITE!!! This is my go to place for solitude and connecting with nature.

Located on the north side of Helen at the base of the mountain is one of North Georgia’s greatest gems. I would say hidden gem, but the locals are very aware of this magical place. You can follow the river as high up the mountain as you like to find the source. This is recommended for avid hikers, not exactly my cup of tea, but knock yourself out and enjoy!

I come here for the roar of the water, the beautiful canopy of the trees and the magical carpet of life that covers the ground. This is one of those places where I feel the undeniable presence and proof of a creator. Its where I can switch gears and have an actual two way communication with my creator. Most days I talk to God, but I’m too busy to listen, this is my time to listen. All true relationship has two way communication, if your always the one talking ; you are in a relationship with yourself (spoiler alert!).

More to come………..

THE JUMPING GOAT TASTING ROOM on Helen Hwy in Cleveland Ga is a beautiful addition to a day trip of self care and reflection. Its views are incredible and really showcase all that North Georgia has to offer. You can sit inside the tasting room for a quaint restaurant style feel, or the covered porch were they have live music for the bohemian living my life best life vibe. My favorite however is the great out door seating. with the very comfy homestyle outdoor furnishings on the hill with a view of the mountains to humble you and spotted with fire pits, outdoor heaters, and the spectacular view to warm you from the outside in and the inside out.

More to come….. something about this place touches the wounded child in all of us. Unexpectedly peaceful and serine

anna ruby falls

winery

HOOCHIE’S RIVER BASKET at 9667 N. Main Street, Helen Ga is our absolute place to go on a day out in the mountains!!! When nothing but the best smash burger will do. I wish I could personally recommend one or two specific burgers, but they are ALL good. I have worked my way through the entire menu and back again. This place has become the focus of many day trips to the mountains, definitely a high light for sure. When ever I bring a new person on a day trip with me (no matter where else we visit), the topic of conversation always reverts back to this food.

To say that it is a hidden gem would do this joint a true disservice….it is a culinary experience :) A true party for the mouth of true food lovers and , more impotently, the burger aficionado!

More to come….

NoFo

The head of the river in Helen Georgia.

BUILDING HEALTH AND WELLBEING IN OUR DIGITAL WORLD

How often do you really unplug? Does it cause you anxiety? Get panicky even? This blog is intended to help you learn digital presence and how to use it for your wellbeing. After all….if you don’t learn to use it, it will learn to use you. Its all about setting healthy boundaries as if technology is a brand new friend and you are getting to know each other. Its a relationship really. A two way street of communication. After all, since the inception of the internet, we are all acutely aware at this point that “ they” having been amassing information and building algorithms on us. How much information have we been gathering on technology really? Enough to understand it? Enough to use it to its full capacity for our benefit? If you are anything like me, you feel as if you are way behind the eight ball on this one.

More to come…

KINSHIP AND THE OPIOD CRISIS IN AMERICA

The "apple doesn't fall far from the tree" or does it?

In the beginning , formation of child protective agencies was born for the protection of children. These children were most often victims of generational poverty and dysfunction in the family. Only children that were extremely emotionally, sexually, or physically abused received services. Case workers were trained with the expectation that the child's biological family was the worst place for them. That along with the lack of telecommunications and technology to find distant relatives helped to form the foster care system. It was the 1960s and our nation was still very innocent.

Fast forward to the Millenium. Over two thirds of the children placed in foster care are victims of neglect. There is an entire generation affected by the opioid crisis. My daughter is one of them.The crisis is the worst we have ever experienced, I would venture to guess that it is even worse than the “crack” cocaine epidemic. This epidemic is not the only reason for displaced children, but it is the largest cause of it. This new wave of drug abuse has got to foster a new way of thinking to combat what we face.

Poverty and family dysfunction are still alive and well unfortunately, but the battleground has changed. Today the addicts are , more often than not, from what is considered to be the “normal” all American family. In this age the addiction is so widespread and severe it crosses all lines of delineation. It is an all color , all creed, all encompassing human problem. This social monster that we are all fighting will take ALL of us working together to win.

Georgia Division of Family and Children's Services  is in a very unique position to affect positive change for an entire generation of children. This change will not be easy and you cannot do it alone. I would dare to say you cannot do it without US! The kinship caregivers.

The foster care system is overwhelmed and kinship caregivers have stepped up to the plate. On our own we are taking on the “no guts no glory” fight of our lives. The fight to keep a sense of security and normalcy for children. We struggle every day to raise healthy, happy, well adjusted human beings.

Most would assume that extended family would be prepared for such a task since we have already raised kids of our own. Well, let me enlighten you. We suffer from our own demons. The social stigma of having raised a drug addict is nearly unbearable. No one talks about it in social circles or even acknowledges it. One day you are planning your retirement and lunching with your friends, and the next you are thrust into the world of deceit, drug abuse, homelessness and mental health perpetrated by the very person whom you love the most.

It starts very innocently, spoiling your grandchildren and helping out your kids. Trying to be understanding and respectful of different parenting styles.Until one day, you look in the mirror to see a full blown enabler. I raised three children and each of them has raised children. I don't know where I went wrong with my middle child and that is the first misnomer that needs to be addressed. We have guilt that we didn't see the signs, we have fear that we will raise another addict, and we have the insecurity of wondering if we will live long enough to see. We are the only people that I know of that both love and hate our children simultaneously. This comes with a whole other set of challenges.

Most Kinship care givers I know take  it upon ourselves to do something and are are met with resistance and legal restrictions at every turn. DFCS has more legal rights to the children than their own family. That being said, the children are usually used as pawns and we live in fear of losing them constantly. It is with the greatest conviction that I submit to you that we need to work in tandem for the welfare of the children.

Foster care is a valid option in many cases but we all know it comes with many caveats. You know,  as the professionals, the higher risks these children face when ripped from all that is familiar The emotional, and physical (not to mention academic) toll it takes is nearly immeasurable and costly to all involved . i would submit that there is a better way.

We are willing and mostly able to take on this task. We are doing it right now, with you or without you. Surely with you would be more beneficial to both. We are proud and we are strong.Most of us are not asking for handouts, although at least 40% are at or below poverty level.. Most caregivers are retirement age and face the hard task of prioritising our needs in our Golden years with the needs of these children. A lot of us are also caregiving for aging parents. We need resources. We need understanding and we need compassion. Imagine having to choose between medications for yourself and food for the kids.

Just like foster parents we are receiving children with little or nothing accompanying them. No clothes, no food, no furniture, not to mention toys! Many of us are already on a fixed income, and the rest are spending our retirement. We are people that have worked and paid taxes for our entire lives. Taxes that pay for programs we don't qualify for.  We have put or lives on hold to help rebuild the lives of these children.

The only thing we ask in return is that you give up the preconceived notions and focus on the same. The “apple doesn't fall far from the tree” mentality is no longer valid and when you enter a case with this you do us all a great disservice.

Thank you!

Kim Hames

TRY THE 80/20 RULE AND WATCH YOUR LIFE CHANGE

It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more. Or maybe you have a creative project to share with the world. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

The way I deal with this principle in life is the percentage factor of 80% spot on discipline and perfection in thrusting you toward your goal and the 20% self soothing, self care, self indulgent “just because I can and it truly makes me happy healthy and whole.”

Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve. Relax and enjoy the ride! AFTER ALL ITS THE JOURNEY NOT THE DESTINATION FOR REAL.

What if you could trust yourself to do the right thing for your health, finances and mental well being at least 80% of the time and permission to rest, relax and have fun 20% of the time? Is that really enough to transform yourself into the version you desire?

As westerners we are trained for the grind of life. There are so many of us that cannot feel whole or accomplished unless we are on that wheel every waking moment. I pose to you a “what if”…… what if the 20% of the time we allow ourselves to just be is the actual key to success? The 20% must be designed to suck every pleasure out of this life that it has to offer. What do you really have to lose giving this a try?

More to come…..