KINSHIP AND THE OPIOD CRISIS IN AMERICA
The "apple doesn't fall far from the tree" or does it?
In the beginning , formation of child protective agencies was born for the protection of children. These children were most often victims of generational poverty and dysfunction in the family. Only children that were extremely emotionally, sexually, or physically abused received services. Case workers were trained with the expectation that the child's biological family was the worst place for them. That along with the lack of telecommunications and technology to find distant relatives helped to form the foster care system. It was the 1960s and our nation was still very innocent.
Fast forward to the Millenium. Over two thirds of the children placed in foster care are victims of neglect. There is an entire generation affected by the opioid crisis. My daughter is one of them.The crisis is the worst we have ever experienced, I would venture to guess that it is even worse than the “crack” cocaine epidemic. This epidemic is not the only reason for displaced children, but it is the largest cause of it. This new wave of drug abuse has got to foster a new way of thinking to combat what we face.
Poverty and family dysfunction are still alive and well unfortunately, but the battleground has changed. Today the addicts are , more often than not, from what is considered to be the “normal” all American family. In this age the addiction is so widespread and severe it crosses all lines of delineation. It is an all color , all creed, all encompassing human problem. This social monster that we are all fighting will take ALL of us working together to win.
Georgia Division of Family and Children's Services is in a very unique position to affect positive change for an entire generation of children. This change will not be easy and you cannot do it alone. I would dare to say you cannot do it without US! The kinship caregivers.
The foster care system is overwhelmed and kinship caregivers have stepped up to the plate. On our own we are taking on the “no guts no glory” fight of our lives. The fight to keep a sense of security and normalcy for children. We struggle every day to raise healthy, happy, well adjusted human beings.
Most would assume that extended family would be prepared for such a task since we have already raised kids of our own. Well, let me enlighten you. We suffer from our own demons. The social stigma of having raised a drug addict is nearly unbearable. No one talks about it in social circles or even acknowledges it. One day you are planning your retirement and lunching with your friends, and the next you are thrust into the world of deceit, drug abuse, homelessness and mental health perpetrated by the very person whom you love the most.
It starts very innocently, spoiling your grandchildren and helping out your kids. Trying to be understanding and respectful of different parenting styles.Until one day, you look in the mirror to see a full blown enabler. I raised three children and each of them has raised children. I don't know where I went wrong with my middle child and that is the first misnomer that needs to be addressed. We have guilt that we didn't see the signs, we have fear that we will raise another addict, and we have the insecurity of wondering if we will live long enough to see. We are the only people that I know of that both love and hate our children simultaneously. This comes with a whole other set of challenges.
Most Kinship care givers I know take it upon ourselves to do something and are are met with resistance and legal restrictions at every turn. DFCS has more legal rights to the children than their own family. That being said, the children are usually used as pawns and we live in fear of losing them constantly. It is with the greatest conviction that I submit to you that we need to work in tandem for the welfare of the children.
Foster care is a valid option in many cases but we all know it comes with many caveats. You know, as the professionals, the higher risks these children face when ripped from all that is familiar The emotional, and physical (not to mention academic) toll it takes is nearly immeasurable and costly to all involved . i would submit that there is a better way.
We are willing and mostly able to take on this task. We are doing it right now, with you or without you. Surely with you would be more beneficial to both. We are proud and we are strong.Most of us are not asking for handouts, although at least 40% are at or below poverty level.. Most caregivers are retirement age and face the hard task of prioritising our needs in our Golden years with the needs of these children. A lot of us are also caregiving for aging parents. We need resources. We need understanding and we need compassion. Imagine having to choose between medications for yourself and food for the kids.
Just like foster parents we are receiving children with little or nothing accompanying them. No clothes, no food, no furniture, not to mention toys! Many of us are already on a fixed income, and the rest are spending our retirement. We are people that have worked and paid taxes for our entire lives. Taxes that pay for programs we don't qualify for. We have put or lives on hold to help rebuild the lives of these children.
The only thing we ask in return is that you give up the preconceived notions and focus on the same. The “apple doesn't fall far from the tree” mentality is no longer valid and when you enter a case with this you do us all a great disservice.
Thank you!
Kim Hames